Notice to all members
For those who seem to think they are offering "tough
love"
Please take a few minutes to read this.
There's a difference between tough love and being way too harsh, but a lot of ppl can not make the distinction. The losing combination happens when you combine someone who is overly sensitive with someone who is flamingly harsh. There needs to be a balance between compassion and tough love. Doing what is best for someone isn't always going to be something they like. Tough love can be a wonderful thing, but coddling/harrassing ppl too much does them no good. If you truly want to help someone in the long term.... instead of just short term pacification, they sometimes need to hear things they won't like. It's finding a balance of ppl being more empathetic and posters being slightly less sensitive if either poster doesn't agree.
Tough love or blunt advice are fine just as long as you respect the person you are giving it to. It's a problem when you make it personally insulting. Which has been the case in this forum for several months. Trust me, there are times when I have to bite my tongue from saying something rude or harsh, but if we want this forum to be less chaotic and more of a welcoming place for members... ppl need to learn self control and avoid threads that make us feel like we need to flame, attack, comment in a rude fashion, insult or otherwise disrespect the OP.
Rude comments may work for some, but in a lot of instances lately it's become inappropriate. There are times that some compassion or choosing to ignore a member's thread is what is really needed. Commiseration with gentle help, but that seems to be beyond the capabilities of some posters here.
Situations like this, I ask that posters refrain from posting in the thread if they can not be respectful. All it does it add to the flames and get you into trouble. As in banned.
I think the key to "tough love" is to also remember the general guidelines and rules for this site when giving your opinion.
I have repeatedly asked that members follow the rules or the Terms of Use for this site. When these requests are ignored, it will lead to being banned. So, for those who are wondering why they have been banned in the past or for those who wonder why other members have been banned...it's b/c they violated the Terms of repeatedly. Not just once, twice or even three times.
Harassing a member will not be tolerated.
Lack of respect for a member will not be tolerated either.
Please try to ask questions b4 making assumptions and twisting someone's words.
If you have an issue with someone else (not the op), please PM the person or keep your opinion to what is relevant to the topic of the thread without derailing the thread...by doing this, it keeps things on track.
As always, I would like to see LYC a place that has a relaxed feeling, drama free and a welcoming place for members to come to when they have no where else to go.
Thanks in advance.
Please take a few minutes to read this.
There's a difference between tough love and being way too harsh, but a lot of ppl can not make the distinction. The losing combination happens when you combine someone who is overly sensitive with someone who is flamingly harsh. There needs to be a balance between compassion and tough love. Doing what is best for someone isn't always going to be something they like. Tough love can be a wonderful thing, but coddling/harrassing ppl too much does them no good. If you truly want to help someone in the long term.... instead of just short term pacification, they sometimes need to hear things they won't like. It's finding a balance of ppl being more empathetic and posters being slightly less sensitive if either poster doesn't agree.
Tough love or blunt advice are fine just as long as you respect the person you are giving it to. It's a problem when you make it personally insulting. Which has been the case in this forum for several months. Trust me, there are times when I have to bite my tongue from saying something rude or harsh, but if we want this forum to be less chaotic and more of a welcoming place for members... ppl need to learn self control and avoid threads that make us feel like we need to flame, attack, comment in a rude fashion, insult or otherwise disrespect the OP.
Rude comments may work for some, but in a lot of instances lately it's become inappropriate. There are times that some compassion or choosing to ignore a member's thread is what is really needed. Commiseration with gentle help, but that seems to be beyond the capabilities of some posters here.
Situations like this, I ask that posters refrain from posting in the thread if they can not be respectful. All it does it add to the flames and get you into trouble. As in banned.
I think the key to "tough love" is to also remember the general guidelines and rules for this site when giving your opinion.
I have repeatedly asked that members follow the rules or the Terms of Use for this site. When these requests are ignored, it will lead to being banned. So, for those who are wondering why they have been banned in the past or for those who wonder why other members have been banned...it's b/c they violated the Terms of repeatedly. Not just once, twice or even three times.
Harassing a member will not be tolerated.
Lack of respect for a member will not be tolerated either.
Please try to ask questions b4 making assumptions and twisting someone's words.
If you have an issue with someone else (not the op), please PM the person or keep your opinion to what is relevant to the topic of the thread without derailing the thread...by doing this, it keeps things on track.
As always, I would like to see LYC a place that has a relaxed feeling, drama free and a welcoming place for members to come to when they have no where else to go.
Thanks in advance.
----------
~Love is a cycle. When you love, you get hurt. When you get hurt, you hate.
When you hate, you try to forget.
When you try to forget, you start missing.
When you start missing, you eventually will fall in love again~
~Love is a cycle. When you love, you get hurt. When you get hurt, you hate.
When you hate, you try to forget.
When you try to forget, you start missing.
When you start missing, you eventually will fall in love again~
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